28 April 2005

a playlist : songs to get depressed by

grey : ani difranco
click here to listen
listening time: 5m 22s

it's contrived, i know, and i can afford to say this because i'm looking at this playlist from a safe distance. i'm not depressed, not even sad. but i do tend to revisit this playlist once in a while because of the simple beauty of the songs in it. some of these are love songs, some are not, or at least not overtly so, but they all pine over a certain kind of loss and make for good company when i'm out of endorphins. i come from the let-it-flow school of emotional therapy, and in this school we learn to wallow in our misery by listening to songs that tear our hearts. grey by ani difranco is on the top of my list. what qualifies? the dour acoustic melody comes first, the words of pain are secondary. i have about 40 songs in this playlist. here are some of them, with my favorite lines.
grey : ani difranco
what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i've got everything i want
still i want more
maybe one tiny shiny key
will wash up on the shore

wise up : aimee mann
you're sure there's a cure
and you have finally found it
you think one drink
will shrink you to your underground
and living down
but it's not going to stop

i am : train
am i the son i think i am?
am i the friend i think i am?
am i the man i think i want to be?

have you forgotten : red house painters
when we were kids, we hated things our parents did
we listened low to casey kasem's radio show
that's when friends were nice
to think of them just makes you feel nice
the smell of grass in spring
and october leaves cover everything.
have you forgotten how to love yourself?

why don't you find out for yourself : morrissey
don't rake up my mistakes
i know exactly what they are
and what do you do?
well, you just sit there
i've been stabbed in the back
so many, many times

ghost : indigo girls
and i feel it like a sickness
how this love is killing me
i'd walk into the fingers
of your fire willingly
and dance the edge of sanity
i've never been this close

landslide : smashing pumpkins
oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
can the child within my heart rise above?
can i sail thru the changing ocean tides?
can i handle the seasons of my life?

please please please let me get what i want : the smiths
haven't had a dream in a long time
see, the life i've had
can make a good man bad
boo hoo.


  1. surprise, surprise. i didn't know we went to the same school of depression. i tend to wallow in it, too, every single effing time that i am down or depressed. i personally think it is good to feel depressed sometimes, so we can all feel better afterwards. as i always tell (or maybe force) myself (to believe): when you're down, there's absolutely nowhere to go but up. unless you start digging away...

  2. Anonymous23.11.05

    Hi it's me, Boinkity Boink. I'm back again, working my way down your list. Got a couple of suggestions or requests. I don't know if you are able or willing to do them.
    1) is there an option to make a list of songs that we want to play? When a song ends I've got to go and start another one. I'd rather just click on 5-6 at one shot and let it run.
    2) Umm ummm I forget.

  3. Anonymous17.10.11

    do you know more songs like "grey"? they really get to me man :/

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